How do people with busy lives become disconnected from their lives? At some time or another everybody feels like they are stuck and cannot move forward and looks for help to find a higher purpose for their lives. People fill their lives with activities, plans, work, meetings, time with family and may need a vacation or a break from work, but each come with a cost. What is the cost one might ask? Loss of time spent doing something while thinking about something else is a culprit that makes each one of us guilty because most people like to plan for the future. Can one still plan for the future and still be in the present? It is important to have focus on what one is doing and staying connected with whatever one is doing will help that person find balance. When we listen to each other and pay attention instead of going into the zone when someone is speaking we feel more connected to what that person is trying to explain to us. With so many activities, appointments and new technology it is easy for one to forget how important interpersonal communication really is.
I Feel Disconnected
What are some of the signs of being disconnected? When someone goes through their day and he or she does not smile anymore and that person feels like they are just going through the motions. That person feels like they are at work, in a meeting, talking to friends, but in reality their mind has wondered off someplace in space or time and the connection is lost when the listening ends. Some people will be able to catch that he or she has tuned out and be able to snap out of it but others may become despondent and step back from friends and support. Most people who feel disconnected feel lost, down in the dumps and are unsure of what their purpose is in life and the most complicated part is the unknown, how do I get what I want even though I am not sure what it is? We all want to be successful, make money, have a job we love and find the right person to settle down with and make a family. How do we accomplish such a huge goal?
Reading
When we read we learn so much about ourselves and what are interests are and finding something that is really interesting will lead one to start school and think about a new and exciting career. Read anything
When we read we learn so much about ourselves and what are interests are and finding something that is really interesting will lead one to start school and think about a new and exciting career. Read anything romance books, documentaries, really old books that one can find tucked away at the depths of a library, anything that will put a smile on your face will help you become more connected. People get the best ideas when they have a book in front of their face and it is important to read things that would not normally be on the must read list. Making time to relax with a good book will help the disconnected soul become more connected and have a larger vocabulary.
True Happiness
Aristotle believed that, “The genuinely virtuous person is the one who achieves true happiness and genuine satisfaction (Waller, 2008, p. 106).” We need to set goals, find a path that we can take to ensure that we find a way to make a happier life for ourselves and for others around us. We must not waste time thinking about what somebody has done to us in the past because that it not what is happening in the present it is only stuck in our minds. It is not happening it is just a memory and when people do find happiness it is easier to move on from things that have happened in the past. People do not realize that they can have more control over what happens in their lives by making good choices and being aware of what the outcome may be and that is the first step in increasing their awareness level.
Flourishing Person
Rosalind Hursthouse and Philippa Foot believe that virtue is what promotes human flourishing (Waller, 2008, p. 106). A flourishing human life must involve joys and pleasures and happiness; but a stupid and shallow person might live a rather happy life that few would count as a genuinely flourishing life (Waller, 2008, p. 106). Unfortunately some people have different ideas about what being virtuous really means and may laugh in someone’s face who tries to explain what being a flourishing person means. Talking about having a flourishing life is something that should be taught in a sermon at church because people who go to church are looking for direction and spirituality. Being virtuous is not something that people chat about with their friends and when people look for help they are most likely going to search the internet until they find some advice that fits their personality. People can read books about spirituality; join groups so that they can meet people who enjoy the same activities, “We humans are social beings, who live best in cooperative relations, exercising our distinctive rational capacities (Waller, 2008, p. 106).”
Communication Skills
People who have good communication skills will have fuller relationships because that person is aware of how to get thoughts out of their head and to verbally speak to another person about their feelings. Some people do not like to talk about their feelings and so the way they deal with their feelings is to avoid them so that it might actually go away before I have to deal with things. People do not like to admit when they feel less then themselves and may feel that true happiness is right around the corner but are unsure how to get it so why bother somebody else with my life struggles? The best advice can come from people who are not directly involved with whatever troubles are being experienced and that person may be a good listener and most people feel a sigh of relief once their worries are spoken. Having good communication skills is something that is learned and many books give people new strategies on how to improve that skill so it will seem effortless when faced with a real life situation.
New Technology
There are so many ways to communicate with each other that sometimes we forget about the importance of using a phone or talking face to face with someone can make a difference in the interpretation of the message. People love to use emails because their message can be sent out to a list of people very quickly and having an email is something that can be saved and used as a reminder if something needs to be done. People tend to forget to use the phone for important messages because emails are so easy so it is important to make sure your point is clear and brief because too much information can overwhelm the reader’s eyes. Some people spend a good deal of time on their computers and there are new shapes and sizes of technological devices that people use to rely on for communication. With all this technology people have a better chance of becoming disconnected from what they are doing we may be able to reach people quicker, but how many machines do we really need?
Health and Wellness
Taking care of our mental and physical wellbeing will help one achieve true happiness and then become a flourishing person and with that will come a bright burst of energy that will be shared with the rest of the world. Just image if the world was fueled on energy alone that is positive energy, what would our world look like? Each person on this planet is capable of putting positive energy out there and with that energy we can knock the negative right of its axis. People, who are healthy, eat well, and take an interest in a positive wellbeing will be role models for people who feel less than themselves. It is true for all of us who feel down in the dumps or want to improve something we can look to others and one of the best places to find out how to do something better is to look to those people who we admire. People can tell somebody how to do something and they may listen or not, but if somebody is ready to make a change then the advice and wisdom passed along will be beneficial to that person who takes it. “Success is not a gift – it’s a challenge to use what you’ve achieved. When success finds you, it is generally because you went looking for it (Hallmark, 2002).”
Care Ethics
Care ethics does not ignore or disparage reason, but it does emphasize the importance of empathy and affection, friendship and relationships (from the perspective of care ethics) Kantian systems woefully neglect (Waller, 2008, p. 126). We are so lucky today that other types of practitioners are accepted and by seeking out help from naturopathic doctors, acupuncturists, herbalists, energy healers, shamans, network chiropractors and other types of counselors we can achieve true happiness and become a flourishing person with the power of our own minds. Now Kant would tell people that having a personal relationship with any of these types of practitioners will undermine the true nature of healing because the line has been crossed between doctor and patient. All reason and utilitarianism goes out the door when a practitioner treats a patient with apathy and kindness and understanding most practitioners that are mentioned above spend time during an intake getting to know about the person who they are working with and the term care or practice member is used instead of the word patient.
Men and Women
Men prefer to only have brief bits of information about a problem where women want to know all the details so they can examine what they have learned to come up with a good solution. Men and women do take different roles that may seem more masculine or more feminine but both have been brought up in a society that associates women with the feelings and men with sturdiness, reason and power. When women take on the stronger roles and speak up for whatever issue they support or point that they are trying to make some people may think that she has over stepped her bounds. It has a lot to do with age and older women may still see the man as the head of the household and will look to him for answers. Some people who are young will think that she is one to be looked upon as a role model and they will say, “Good for her,” some people may not be ready for a change and just ignore whatever the issue is she is promoting. Women are the decision makers, heads of households, and are in marriages were it is more of a team effort and make decisions together instead of apart.
Making it Happen
How do we make this happen? True happiness and flourishing can be achieved by anyone who wants to work for it and it does not have to be that hard each person just needs the basic desire to improve their lives. People will not think of the words true happiness and flourishing to describe how they feel, but for those looking at them on the outside what will be projected is positive energy and we do not have to have it every second of the day, but when we have it does feel really good. When we feel happy we can accomplish so many things like getting up in the morning and going to the gym, seeing friends who are always there for support, going to work and feeling good about yourself, leaving work after having had a good day and coming home to unwind and spending time with your family. Each of us can contribute so much to other people’s lives and sometimes we are not aware of the difference that we do make and spreading positive energy around will make others feel good. It is as simple as that.
References
No limits but the sky. (2002). Kansas City: Hallmark Books.
Waller, B. N. (2008). Consider ethics: Theory, readings, and contemporary issues (2nd ed). New York, NY: Pearson/Longman.
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