Communication Styles

Contrast the communication styles of assertiveness, aggressiveness, and non-assertiveness and discuss the primary sources of nonverbal communication.

Assertiveness according to our textbook means pushing hard without attacking, permits others to influence others without attacking and being self expressive in a way that does not feel intrusive for others (Kinicki & Kreitner, 2009 p 307). People, who have good communications skills will use their nonverbal skills to help build trust, play a role of a leader and be effective at getting their points across to others. Being assertive means that he or she is an achiever, and are content, peaceful, pleasant individuals who enjoy being around others and who are self-confident without appearing arrogant (Britt-Roebuck, 2006 p 21). Achievers have no hidden agendas, are interested in hearing others thoughts, actively seek feedback, focus on what is best for the organization and the author points out that when interacting with these individuals, you should validate their objectivity and ability to interact with all behavioral styles (Britt-Roebuck, 2006 p 21). I pulled out this information from one of my textbooks from Business Communications and I chose to focus on the positive assertive person rather than the negative because I feel that is my type of communication style.

Aggressiveness according to our textbook means taking advantage of others and this person is expressing themselves that comes at a cost of other people around them (Kinicki & Kreitner, 2009 p 307). I have worked with aggressive communicators and have felt intimated by them and I could tell that the person was not very happy, why would someone want to make others feel lousy? People who are aggressive tend to be in high power position where their influence may be to get a task completed, or reach a certain goal, or to be competitive with others in the office to for example, be the best sales person. I worked as a tele-marketer for a mortgage company and I went in with the attitude that I want to help people save money on their interest rates and I would get as much information as possible. Some of that information would be personal so that the loan officers could use that as a source of familiarity and build trust with the customer right from the beginning. Some of the loan officers were cut throat, did not spend time on deals that would not benefit them, did not call customers back and it was frustrating because I would make calls and hope to help them with good intentions. This was back in the time period where mortgage companies where going after sub-prime customers who had huge debt and low credit scores without a second thought if they could afford the loan. I was glad to get out of the business because when I left there were only a handful of loan officers that I would trust with leads.

The third group of is the non-assertive types of people who may be young, shy, and unskilled and let the more senior or higher ups take advantage of them because they are fearful of losing their jobs. People in this category tend to get taken advantage of; maybe someone told them they were not good enough or where belittled in front of other people by managers who were not very nice people. I worked in retail and at a mortgage company and I would avoid talking to one of the male owners at any cost because he was a real jerk and made me feel bad in front of my co-workers. I was in my twenties and I wish I had spoken up to him, but back then I did not have the confidence or the communications skills to do that. If you know that someone at work falls into this category stand up for that person so that one day they will have the confidence to do so for themselves. One of my friends told me yesterday that some of the temps where he worked were not treated great, one day someone was yelling at a guy and my friend went over and told the person that yelled that it was unfair and disrespectful. Everybody went to human resources and the women ended up getting a warning for it and she had to apologize for yelling at the person and my friend felt better for helping out.

Primary sources of nonverbal communication are body movements and gestures, touch, facial expressions and eye contact. In one of my classes my teacher gave us an assignment to not communicate with people who are around us for a short-period of time and see what happens. This assignment got us all in a bit of trouble until we explained that this was for class and no offense should be taken. I like to sit out back and read my books for school out on my porch, one of my friends came out back and sat in her lawn chair on the lawn. We usually chat and say, “Hi” but this time I remained silent, I did not say a word and later I found out she was wondering what was wrong with me? I told her roommate that it was for a class assignment so she passed along the message to my other friend. When people have poor non-verbal skills and do not pay attention to their facial expressions others may interpret it the wrong way and become offended.

Our book mentions that how we hold our body is important someone may be seen as defensive by crossing their arms but the person may just be cold but depending on their facial expression we will be able to guess what is really going on. Touching is something people have to be careful about because it conveys an impression of warmth and caring and can be used to create personal bonds with people (Kinicki & Kreitner, 2009 p 308). One woman I worked with taught me how to flirt with men, “touch them while you are talking” it means that you have a special attraction to them, she suggested on the arm because it made them feel good. I was in my early twenties and I was working in retail and she was much older than me and I thought it was good advice at the time. We must be careful of our facial expressions, when I worked in a call center it was ok to make a face if someone on the other end made a stupid remark or were just really strange. It was a safe place to use your negative facial expressions because the other person could not see us, if someone took a negative tone with that person that is another story. They would probably call back and ask to speak to someone else because the last person was rude or did not answer their questions. Eye contact is important, people who are confident use eye contact, avoiding eye contact means that you do not want to deal with someone or that you are in a hurry. Sometimes at the grocery store I do not want to talk to people for one reason or another especially if I want to get in and out or do not feel well. I walk fast and avoid people because I do not feel like talking every time I see the same person who works there and I think on some level they are not offended because they are working.

Britt-Roebuck, D., & , (2006). Improving business communication skills. (Fourth ed., p. 21). New Jersey: Prentice Hall.

Kinicki, A., & Kreitner, R.  (2009). Organizational Behavior: Key Concepts, Skills &

Best Practices (customized 4th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Irwin.